Okay - so I think I might be delusional. This s%$t is really hard! I have been thrown back into reality in a big way and I'd like to file a complaint - who do I see about this? Let me start with this; I am frickin' overwhelmed between the "eat this" and "don't eat that" and "eat every couple of hours" - hell, I don't take time to go to the bathroom every couple of hours and now you want me to eat and plan it ahead of time? And working out 6 days a week? Sure, I've managed to do it, but it's been mostly cardio - only one day of strength training as I had to first find and join a gym and then had to figure out what the heck I was supposed to be doing (which I'm still trying to figure out). I feel like this should be easier - but alas...nothing worth having ever is, right?
I gave up my occasional coke, chocolate, CARBS (not easy when you're a vegetarian) oh, and did I mention that I even gave up being a vegetarian so I could ensure enough protein for adequate muscle recovery as I go through this torture? I'd say after over 20 years of vegetarianism, that's some serious commitment! And I gave up an hour of sleep on my weekend to get my interval training in too!
I'm tired, I'm stressed and I'm pissed off at myself for letting it get to this point - but most importantly, I'm optimistic that a big shift is occurring and with that comes big change. I just hope it's me looking and feeling better through achieving my goals rather than plopping myself down in the grocery store aisle wolfing down an entire chocolate cake in a moment of weakness (mental and physical) - which would also be a big change, 'cause that's something I'd never do.
So, did you get all that? 'Cause I can repeat it if you need me to.
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